Salam & 안영 to all ♥♥
tajuk post tiada kaitan apa-apa :)WARNING : this is a super duper long post. TQ
in my previous post, i said that there's gonna be a special post about Nadiatul Aimi Hibatullah @ betik. so this is it.
she's my friend. she's my best friend. and she was my roommate up until yesterday. before this, i always wonder, how was it feel if your roommate is your best friend? it should be fun right? living with someone you think your best friend.
in the beginning, everything seem perfect. you may think you know your best friend too well, but do think again.
being her roommate made me realize that we're completely different creature. and i just realized habits of mine. i don't like people to touch my things without permission. seriously i DO NOT LIKE THAT and yes, i just figured it out. i don't like my stuff to be not in it should be. i DO NOT LIKE THAT. if i ever see my things changed, i slowly became furious. and i did it a lot this semester. as far as i concerned, i never feel something like it before. i WONDER WHY?
being your best friend roommate sometimes made you think;
it's okay to do this. it's okay to do that.
she won't get mad.
are you sure? think again :)
ever since i started to live in hostel; i was the one who have foods. because i love to eat and i'm happy to see people eat my foods WITH me.
being her roommate somehow made you realize that you are actually know nothing about your best friend. she's someone who don't care about others. i mean like she's not that busy body to get to know about people's life. but don't you think sometimes, you NEED to care? she's someone who, "if you want to talk shit about me, say it to my face. don't talk behind me." because she's not gonna figure it out if you do it in Malay way. i mean, menegur secara telus atau berkias. she will never get it.
being her roommate, i learnt a lot about her course. it's pretty tiring course and it requires a lot of hard works and creativity. i ended up thinking, THANK GOD i didn't apply for that course because i will never make it. but it really PISSED ME OFF every time people say that my course is EASY? just because you rarely seen me with books, DON'T YOU EVER SAY MY COURSE IS EASY! i never say your course is easy right. you don't have idea how the coding thing drive me crazy for the past three semesters. just ask someone who are not COMPUTER SCIENCE student who are COMPULSORY to take C++ programming language, what will they say about that subject? SUMPAH SERANAH you will get. well, it just C++, what about other coding stuff? again, IT'S NOT EASY. but hey, none of courses in this world are easy. NONE.
sometimes i can't help but feel lucky to get my best friend as my roommate. because there are stories that i don't share with others. i totally love it when she share her stories, and i was overwhelmed with her stories all the time. but not vice versa. her feedback to my stories are so:so. so i will turn to someone else to share my stories :( you know you want that person to have the exactly the same feeling with you, but she is not like that :(
i like it when her mom said that me and her are so different. i mean when her mom visited our room. HAHA. but typical mom will always praise others rather than her own child. HAHA.
dear betik, you know i WAS SUPER MAD at you when you left your key that day. TRUST ME, I'M BEING SERIOUS. i was in the middle of my way to Serdang and you called. YOU DIDN'T BRING THE KEY? was it my fault? the whole trip to Serdang became gloomy. i supposed to be happy that i will meet my friend whom i missed the most. it's almost 1 year and a half we didn't meet each other. and you did this. i just couldn't stop thinking. what to do? what to do? since you said that your flight to Bali was on 3pm. so i've calculated the time. you were suppose to be at the airport 2 hours early. so you should be leaving at 12 noon. i've RUSHED BACK all the way from Serdang for you! for you for not being left by your lecturers. for you that i was scared that you're gonna miss your flight because of me. but then i think again, was it my fault since it was you who left the key?
being her roommate is like experimenting the marriage life. she was the husband and i was the wife. she was the workaholic husband and i was the housewife who always waited for the husband to get home early. she was the husband who always went to outstation and i was the wife who always being left alone. she was the husband who always think her wife was okay with the situation but i was the wife who think it was not okay AT ALL.
being her roommate, i learnt a lot about her love life. she used to be secretive about her love life. i rarely heard about her talking about it. but since she was my roommate, she did talk about it with me. sometimes she's getting on my nerve. i was like WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS? PITY HER BOYFIE. but sometimes, i was like WHY WAS HER BOYFIE LIKE THAT? SUPER ANNOYING! there were times that i was at her side and there were times that i think i was at her boyfie's side.
being her roommate, she did shocked me with some random things.
being her roommate made me think; how would i be if i were her? i mean, how on earth will i face all the problems she had? i'm not that strong. i'm not that tough. she seems so strong when it comes to her problems. she is someone who love to solve her problems under her own. she don't like to share. she thinks she don't want to involve others in her problems. but you know, you can always tell me :) since we ARE best friend.
being her roommate somehow made me feel the responsibility to take care of her. since she's pretty careless sometimes, not to say that i'm not. i think i am better. HAHA. though she seems fit outside, but inside she is very fragile. her boyfie got a thing with a girl. that thing was really really unexpected. i never thought her boyfie would do that. but HE DID. she was awfully devastated about this matter. she cried. she cried. and she cried. asking me was it her fault? i kept saying, no it's not your fault. it just that guy who is STUPID to find another bitch. she cried. she cried. i seriously didn't know what to do. i HATE her boyfie instantly. for making her like this. she got up, searching for things. first, she threw away the potrait that her boyfie gave her. second, she threw away the bracelet. third, she cut off the teddy bear into pieces. fourth, she broke the coupled-like patung kaca. and she got cut. she's bleeding. not that bad but kept bleeding. i acted like a cool paramedic, but inside i was like, OMG! WHAT SHOULD I DO? i told her to sleep. stop think about that stupid guy. but she kept asking the same question until she sleep. i've told her to think about GOD, her parents, US, and people who love her. but i think she was too sad to even listen to me. i was so scared that i called Nadia Mahat. i asked her to come since i was afraid to leave her alone. but Nadia was in kampung :( the news spread with the help of technology. handphone and internet. thank you very much. and i was glad that she was a bit okay afterwards but deep down there i know, she's still hurt. as her best friend, of course i don't want to see her sad. it breaks my heart too seeing her like that. i think i cried too, but i need to stay strong to take care of her. if you ask me, I NEVER WANT YOU TO COMEBACK TO HIM! even if he is the last guy on earth. NEVER! you don't have to ask, you should know better what will i answer :)
being an observant person myself, i somehow know that you did comeback. you don't have to tell. i just know it. i just wait for you to tell. and guess what i found this morning.
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!
as far as i'm concern, for the past few days; that status is only one sided. i mean he was only in a relationship. but heck! i guess not anymore. i KNEW it. told you right. well, i am furious to see that. after what that guy did? ughh. never mind. it's your feeling. i can NEVER tell you what you should do or not. you want to comeback, go ahead if that make you happy. i am JUST your best friend anyway. for the time being, i don't know what i should feel. mad? happy? sad? i don't know.
dearest Nadiatul Aimi Hibatullah Badlishah, i still love you no matter what. it just i can't deal with it for now. thanks for being my roommate for the semester. just be happy okay :)
p/s : i wrote this post with mixed emotions. i know i acted like a bitch in this post. sorry for my harsh words :) i am being deadly emotional these days.
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