S E P E T E S C A P E S: Encik S

Salam to all ♥♥

right now and then, i am still in shocked state. i can't think much. i can't even speak. my body feel numb. God, i never feel this stupid in my whole life. worst than when i failed my Add Maths test when i was in form four. not even close. i should've known this. it's not that i didn't know. maybe i was being hypnotized. so bad that i believe that everything he was saying was true. now, my mind kept repeating, "No wonder he's like this." "No wonder he's like that." and the most stupid part was, we i lasted quite long. i was stupid for make it longer.

i could just stop long time ago. but because of my stupidity, it hits me back. after all, i did wish to meet a player. so its kinda my wish had been granted and i should know what would happen. its like watching yourself in a playboy-type-movie; like John Tucker Must Die. its like that. it just like that. when you watch that kind of movie, you kept calling those girls who fall for the player were stupid and stuff. and actually you didn't realize that you're actually like those girls. you're just among them. you're just one of them. Pathetic.

surprisingly, i never cry like i always did. i want to cry so badly. cause that way, it makes me feel alot better. but the tears just didn't feel to come out. he didn't worth my tears anyway. he's just a plain jerk who thinks he can get any girl he wants. i admit that; even my friend fall for his good-looking face.

i don't know much bout relationship. frankly, its a brand new thing for me. that's why i was an easy target, i guess? innocent, naive, blur; that was me. i did believe everything. i did fall for everything. i did dream everything nice. i'm just a girl. and ordinary girl. though some of you might think that i not that kind who layan kind of stuffs, lemme me remind you, i'm just an ordinary girl.

i did many stupid things. too many. they said that,"Love is Blind" though i'm not quite sure what was my feeling towards him. i even hated myself for being like that. i've told you that life is full of regrets. but past is past, we can't go back. it was said that, "Good judgement comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgement" Couldn't agree more.

maybe he won't feel anything. he won't care much. he just won't. he still got many back-ups. won't notice that i'm gone. strangely this time, i didn't curse like i did before. i don't feel like talking. i was so busy thinking and thinking. so my instinct was right. me and him were not meant to be together. i'm glad that we i didn't couple or have any kind of serious relationship. all i can say that we were just friend. teman tapi mesra to be exact.

lastly, thanks to him for giving me such a unforgettable dark experience. thanks to him, i lost my interest towards real relationship. for now and i don't know until when. i'm glad that we never met each other. i'm glad that we never did something beyond my thinking. one word from me; GOODBYE.

i found this quote, and its kinda true;