sober. .

Salam & 안영 to all ♥♥

it's the second day of fasting month. it's cool. though it's kinda tiring to climb up the stairs; but i just need to bear with it. it's not that i'm gonna die if i climb up the stairs fasting.

first day of puasa, i had my sahur at home. gedik gedik nak balik. i think it's been ages since the last time i've ever had my sahur at home. the last time i think when i was in form 3? i think i couldn't make it at home when i was in hostels. both in school and uni. i think so? i can't recall.

i had my sahur at home and broke my fast at college; ALONE. my kakak roomate left me to break her fast outside with her friends. it happened again today. well, did i feel a thing? OF COURSE. but i'll just get through with it.

you know, for the last few days i kinda have this breakdown. you know my emotional breakdown come again. and i feel grumpy and such. people never notice that they pissed me off. well, no one could really tell when i'm in those kind of moods. instead, they will have this fit with me. and of course i feel like to bang their head off! well, don't mind me. i should've post this few days back. not in this holy month T.T

during that time, i really really missed my roomate in Jengka T.T i missed our pillow talks before we go to bed. Nadia~~ Yan~~ kite rindu korang sangat2 tau T.T with Nadia Waris, we used to have this 'what if' conversation. since we're both have many things in common. i told her most of my stories. and so did she. with Yan, we both always have many questions about our future in day-dreaming way. i mean like, "Nadia/Yan, awak nanti nak kawen cne?" that sort of questions. it does sounds silly, but i really do missed all those things. since i had no one to do that here. sobs.

i missed to watch dramas together with them and imitated those characters. i missed stalking abang cafe with Nadia Waris whom Yan had no feelings. i missed watching Yan dancing 'Sorry sorry' and 'Genie' while Nadia with 'Mirotic'. and we're dancing WonderBANG special stage together. nanges lagi. i missed it when Yan had this annoyed look when i called her names. i missed her voice screaming at my face whenever she's annoyed with what i'm doing. i missed to see Nadia Waris's face when she's scared. i missed to see Yan's face when she's not agree with me. anddd i missed the web-caming session~~! there are so many things to be listed. sobs

seriously, i'm hoping that they'll be doing their degree in Shah Alam. Yan~~ though kte kurang SuJu and MBLAQ tapi kte tolong teman awak nanti kalau dorg datang. HAHA. Nadia~~ kalau bigBang datang, jom jumpe DaeSung same2 tau XD who knows they might bring Hyori.

i still remember when they surprised me during my birthday in part 1. when i was in Jengka. my first semester there. practically everyone knows about my obsession towards Korean. and after surprised me we're like making flashmobs of 'Tell me' & 'Nobody' of Wonder Girls. yeah, i'm the one who taught them. HAHA. it was wayyy back in 2008. there are videos of those memorable scenes, but it's too special and we didn't have too much clothes on. HAHA. it was really special. though, there's no cake or else, just cadbury err i couldn't remember, it was really special. saya sangat teruja time tuh. since i didn't know them that well that time.

i guess i was too stressed out. when i think about how people changed when they moved here, i mean into main campus. they are NOT changing. they are just themselves. that's who they really are. seriously they're not changing. because i feel it that way. i'm not changing. this is the real me. long time ago, i came across this quote;

"if people say you're changing, actually you're not. you're just not living the way they wanted you to be."

though your name are not being mentioned here, I REALLY REALLY MISSED YOU GUYS IN JENGKA. sobs. i really really do. sometimes, i dunno whether i should contact you guys or not. sometimes i'm afraid that i'm bothering you guys and such. so i just hold it back. i'm sorry. you know who you are. and i missed you guys ALOT. budak budak CS Jengka, Nadia Zailan rindu korang sangat2 T.T

i have a lot more to say. but i guess that's all for this time. once mama asked, "Jengka ngan Shah Alam; mane lagi best kak?" and i feel like crying that time T.T

p/s : i'm waiting for you guys here. July 2011 please come faster :\



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